His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
