I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
