THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
