Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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