no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
