Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
