i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think my tv is drunk
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
