i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
