i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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