Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just cut my nipple shaving
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
