I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
