you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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