i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
