somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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