Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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