his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
