Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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