Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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