Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
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Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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