her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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