i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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