She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think people are normalizing furries
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
