Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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