After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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