pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Shame is for Republicans.
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