I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
