I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Come share oat with me in your robe
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
