i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize