I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
