I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize