You made me cry and you don't even care
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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