Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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