On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have tasted many bathrooms
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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