Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
