I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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