i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
