Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
