I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
