I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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