Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
