puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
