so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
