The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He kissed a someone with a penis
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
