I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
