Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
