I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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