Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize