Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
