What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
