I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
