I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize