Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize