Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
did i walk over a car last night?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
