i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
