Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
