his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize