Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
